Voices in My Head

I'm guilty of carrying on conversations with others in my head. Let me just say upfront that this is a BAD idea. No, I'm not schizo (I'm pretty sure). Here's what happens - I think of what I would say to them, what I imagine they would say back, my reply to that, and on and on. This can take place over the course of days and even weeks. All the while, I'm experiencing the emotions that would go along with the conversation were it truly happening. Come on now, I know some of you know what I'm talking about! Usually, the unfortunate soul with whom I've been carrying on this imaginary conversation is completely clueless that anything is wrong until BLAM! I actually say something aloud.

I did it again last week and snapped at someone after a seemingly minor comment was made about a situation I'd been stewing about for a couple of months. So when they said something that to them was relatively harmless, I let them have it. Oops. I had to apologize and we did get to discuss the root core of my anger a bit. It would have been so much better to have addressed the issue early on and talked about it calmly.

I hate confrontation so much that I usually choose not to address issues with people early on thinking that things will just magically get better. The problem is that this almost never happens! I hope one day soon I learn to speak up early and honor Christ in my relationships by exhibiting love and respect for people by being honest with them.