Faith and Fear

Update: Thanks to all for your prayers. My loved one's MRI and blood work came back normal though there's still a trip to a neurologist scheduled. They're initially chalking all this up to stress. I never imagined how many ways your body can revolt against the stressors we endure. Puts more "oomph" to "Be anxious for nothing...Phil 4:6...it's good for your health!

When bad things happen, I can usually handle it tolerably well when I'm the primary "victim." A sudden flash of fear and anxiety typically can get snuffed out as I suck it up and muddle through it. Let something bad or uncertain happen to someone close to me, and it's a whole other scenario.

I recently received news that a very close family member is having symptoms that could indicate anything from a magnesium deficiency (which is quite common) to Lou Gehrig's disease. A trip to the ER and a referral to a neurologist have resulted. As I sit here, I can feel the fear welling up in me. A thousand different "what if's" are trying to be entertained in my mind.

The "old" me would be practically paralyzed by the fear. The "new" me which has been being developed over the past year says "Trust God in all things. He is in control no matter the circumstances." At present, the two me's are at war deciding who's going to win.

A godly man named Jonny said, "Fear and faith are the same. Each is the belief in something that has not yet happened - it just depends on what kingdom you're walking in." So now I must ask myself, "Am I going to walk in God's kingdom and believe He is who He says He is or am I going to walk in Satan's kingdom and believe God doesn't care what happens to me or my family?

If I decide to walk in fear mode, I'm a hypocrite and a liar and my witness is meaningless. I've been quite vocal about the lessons I feel I've been learning about the presence and sovereignty of God, especially during times of suffering. Here's another opportunity to act upon what I say I believe. This is so hard! Another crisis of faith is presenting itself and what I choose to do matters.

I'm now asking something of you (the few people who might be reading this) - will you hold me accountable? Ask me if I'm praying and believing God or if I'm wallowing in fear. Remind me of what lessons God's taught me this year.

If you don't mind, could you also pray for my family member? Fear is trying to get a grip on him and I believe this could be a time for God to break him free of this for good. Also, for a good report from the doctor. Thanks.