Fear in the Night

Those who know me know that I am practically phobic when it comes to thunderstorms, particulary when they come in the middle of the night. I was rudely awakened last night by forceful gusts of wind against the house. I was instantly awake, heart pounding, and off to the living room to check the news. I prayed the satellite was still pulling in a signal during the rain and wind and it was. I could have sworn an F4 tornado was headed for our house and lo and behold - it wasn't even enough of a storm for the usually frenetic weatherpeople to be giving it coverage. There was Conan O'Brien goofing with some celebrity while I just knew the lives of me and my family were in mortal danger.

I've never been happy when storms come through, but now that we have a kid, my fear has grown exponentially. I think it has a lot to do with wanting to protect her and knowing there's really nothing I can do about it. So there I sit, terror barely restrained, telling God, "I really am scared but you're in control of this storm. Please protect us!" I pictured myself as a little kid running to my dad and hiding my face in his chest, just wanting to be held and told it would be OK. I wish I could say I had a warm-fuzzy feeling come over me and a voice saying, "It'll be OK" but I didn't. But you know what? It was OK. We had some rearrangement of our deck furniture and grill, but otherwise all was fine. I even went back to sleep.

Psalm 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.