Simon Actually Smiled

Got this fun one from my dad. Thanks, Dad!

Politics Are Oh So Serious

OK, so I swiped this bit of hilarity from Nashbabe, but it made me laugh out loud so I just had to share it.

Busy Being Boring and Other Random Thoughts

• If boring and busy can be juxtaposed, then that's where we're at. Seems like the next thing is upon us before we finish the last, but what is there to show for it? Just life, I guess. Not exactly the type of rest Jesus promises (come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest) - must be my clue to go to Him and not to my calendar as much.

• I just can't believe the summer is almost over and my baby will be going to kindergarten. Tears well up in me just thinking about it. I think it will bother me more than it will her.

• I went to another church this am because Kiddo was part of a VBS there this past week and the kids were the service today. It's really strange to be somewhere other than our own church. It was more "churchy" than what I'm used to, and I was reminded what it feels like to be a visitor. I hope it makes me more willing to interact with those who come to visit Hope.

• I'm fighting a sinus infection or something as equally annoying right now and I'd forgotten how miserable it feels to be sick. I thank God that I don't feel this way more often. If I avoid you for the next couple of days, it's for your own protection!

• We had the privilege of going to Chuck E Cheese's two consecutive nights this week. Yippee. I learned to premedicate. Hooray for ibuprofen.

• I joined a gym this week, too. I'd been to the Dr and she said the words I knew to be true but hadn't had a third party say to me out loud - I was overweight. Sigh. Hopefully this will be the motivation I've lacked for so long to get serious and be consistent. Only time will tell I guess. Feel free to ask me if I've gone, though please wait a day or two for the copious amounts of mucus in my head to go away.

• I love my husband.

There. I've blogged and have bought myself another 6 weeks of silence unless something utterly profound overtakes me. Anybody else want to take a turn? I like reading about what my friends are up to, however mundane.

A Friend to Sinners

I've been reading several books lately related to the emerging/emergent church movement. I don't really care about the emerging v. emergent part (I get the impression this is somewhat controversial), but I have been greatly convicted about how outsiders (aka non-Christians) view Christians and the church. I don't know that I can have much impact on a generation's view of the church as a whole, but what kind of Christian are my neighbors, non-Christian friends, the grocery store clerks, etc. seeing me be?

Luke 15:1-3 reads, "By this time a lot of men and women of doubtful reputation were hanging around Jesus, listening intently. The Pharisees and religion scholars were not pleased, not at all pleased. They growled, "He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like old friends."

If Jesus was a friend to sinners, than I can only conclude that he wants me to be one, too. From what I know of Jesus, he never bludgeoned a lost, hurting person with a moral code. He loved them, met their need, and then told them to go and sin no more. Jesus is holy and that is never, ever compromised. He seemed to reserve the harsh criticism and judgment for the religious leaders who were more concerned about being "right" than about caring for people and having a right heart before God.

I know that several of my neighbors aren't Christians, but I find myself pretty much encapsulated in a Christian bubble. We hang out with our Christian friends somewhat exclusively, I work for a Christian organization, and we're sending our daughter to a Christian school. How can I be a friend to sinners if I never enter my personal, local mission field?

Anyways, I certainly don't have all my thoughts on this clear in my head as is evidenced by this rambling. I trust the sources I've been reading, but I also need to go back and study the example Jesus set. I confess that I've been guilty of hiding behind my church doors, figuratively speaking, and not reaching out to establish relationships with people that act, think, and believe differently than I do. How to remedy that is still to be determined.

I'm sure I'll blog about this more as I think it through. If you're interested in the books I've been reading, they are:

• Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
• unChristian by David Kinnaman
• They Like Jesus but Not the Church by Dan Kimball

Just Tell Me What To Do

I don't know whether I'm just tired or I've lost that "be the leader" mentality. I hate to make decisions anymore, especially if a group of people are involved. It has fallen on us to make plans for our daughter's soccer team party and something so simple has become so difficult. Perhaps I'm too worried about what they'll think of me and of the choice I make. But should I even care? Nobody else stepped up to do it. I'm always afraid of choosing something that someone else doesn't like, but by continually deferring to the imagined desires of someone else, nothing gets decided. I just want someone to tell me what to do, where to be, and when to be there. I used to think that being in charge was enviable, but right now I'd love to just be a sheep and follow a qualified shepherd.

I Don't Really Love God

I had the shocking realization this morning that I don't really love God - not the way He wants me to anyways. For someone who's been a Christian since she was 5, this was quite sobering. If asked the question yesterday, I would have most certainly answered "Yes, of course I love God" but it would have mostly been out of a sense of being obligated to love God. I want to love God more than anything but up until now, it could only really be categorized as affection, allegiance, or something like that. You know, like saying you love someone in your family that you barely know because it's just the right thing to do.

How can this be? I can sincerely say I try to live my life according to what God asks of me. Not perfectly, of course, but I do try. Hubby and I try to live out our faith in action each day and not just in words and weekly church attendance. But does this constitute love as God desires it? We can love God with phileo love and be fully redeemed, heaven-bound and serve Him as best we know how, but we still fall short of what He asks of us.

Once again, Beth Moore goes straight to the heart of a matter as only she can. I'm so grateful that she's allowed herself to be used by God to convey the truth of His Word to others. In the video lesson we saw this morning, she differentiates agapeo and phileo love. Agapeo love is what God desires and what we're commanded to give Him in Mark 12:29-31, but phileo love is what I tend to offer Him.

She asked a series of questions to help us identify if we have agapeo love for God - each to be answered as Often, Sometimes or Rarely:

1. Does He regularly circulate into my thoughts?
2. Am I often drawn to spend time with Him?
3. Does my life demonstrate a love for God?
4. Do I often enjoy God?
5. Do I find relief or satisfaction in the obedient life?

Ouch. As much as I'd love to answer Often to all of these, there were more Rarely's than anything else. Rather than being condemning, it's actually quite freeing to realize you've been going about things all wrong and now you can change! So how can I freely love God the way He (and I) desire?

1. First, I have to realize that I can't muster up agapeo love for God. It originates with God because God is love. Whew, that takes some pressure off because I've not been able to conjure it up for over 25 years.
2. Second, I need to ask God diligently and daily for the supernatural ability to love Him. I firmly believe God will answer that prayer because it's smack dab in the middle of His will. No need for Him to deliberate on that one.
3. Lastly, I have to offer him my whole heart to fill up. Not sure how to do this, but I know He'll show me how.

I intend to start praying this for myself every day starting today. I've seen others who truly love God this way and I want it for myself. I always wondered why I didn't possess that kind of passion and excitement for God and just figured it wasn't my personality type. Well, phooey on that - I want it and I'm asking for it. I want to be a Jesus Freak.

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

I was working on the Beth Moore's Breaking Free study our Sunday School class is doing and today's lesson really struck me. I wanted to share some of what it said.

Beth writes:

Unbelief regarding the love of God is the ultimate slap in His face. God nailed down His love for us on the cross. Can you imagine the grief of our unbelief after all He's done? You may say, "But I can't just make myself feel like God loves me." Belief is not a feeling. It's a choice. In spite of our emotions, we can choose to take God at His Word.

It's sometimes hard to reconcile the awfulness that happens in our lives and God's love. We watched Evan Almighty the other week and at one point God tells Evan, "Whatever I do, I do because I love you." It sounds incredible, but it's true. Hollywood actually got something right.