A Little Bummed

We're all feeling a bit bummed at our house. Had some stuff happen that, for me anyways, left me feeling disappointed, a little bitter and questioning why things are the way they are. On top of that, we've got lots of friends leaving - we have 3 going away parties this weekend alone. Some are leaving for just a time, others permanently. One family is moving to another continent and another just down the street. Hubs is having a good boss leave for a job opportunity in another state (which adds to his stress because now he's in charge temporarily). J is losing 2 friends she greatly enjoyed playing with. We're so busy right now, we aren't able to spend the time we'd like to with these folks before they leave.

Both of us are dealing with a flood of emotions but are unsure what to do with them. Processing isn't an easy thing sometimes. I told K that in addition to being sad, I feel guilty about feeling bad. None of these things are directly happening to us (you know,we're not moving, our family member isn't leaving, etc) so it seems that feeling this way is making it all about me when it isn't about me at all. I guess feelings are just feelings and aren't right or wrong by nature.

Anyways, if you talk with us and we're in a funk, this is why.

Freely Given

Yesterday, a woman flagged me down as I was leaving the Publix shopping center. She looked frantic and said she'd fled her home and abusive husband in a hurry and had left her purse behind. Did I have some change with which she could buy some gas? I told her if she'd drive down to the service station, I'd buy her a tank of gas. She quickly accepted and drove on. As she pumped gas into her car, she kept saying "I have a job, I have money" and thanked me for helping her. I assured her that I was happy to help her. I explained that it wasn't my money but I was just a steward of the money God gave us and that this was how I could show her the love of Jesus. She wouldn't let me fill her tank to the top, but thanked me and drove away with a wave. It was a wonderful opportunity to show Jadyn how to extend kindness to strangers as Jesus would have us do.

Today, I see a Twitter post by a friend who also lives in my area that she, too, helped someone yesterday only to find out she'd been duped. Immediately I thought of my own scenario and wondered if I'd been scammed by the same person.

I've been scammed in the past and it really made me angry. I vowed it would never happen again. If I determined that they deserved my help, then I'd give it.....WHAT?!

My anger was based out of pride. I'd been duped. I looked stupid. My money was wasted. Me, myself, I. I certainly hadn't given with a cheerful heart and my conditional help didn't honor Jesus in any way.

This time, I'm not angry. I don't even know if this lady's claim was legitimate or not. It doesn't matter. I'm responsible for myself and my actions, not hers. I was able to give her a hug, tell her that Jesus loved her and pray for her as I drove home. My daughter got to see how we obey Jesus and love others in a practical way. My position is not as judge to determine if that woman was "worthy" of my gift. God knows her heart and will deal with her in love the way she needs it. It's His money, so if was stolen, He'll see that it's returned.

I'm thankful that God loves me unconditionally and didn't wait until I deserved His gift before He gave it. The gift was not dependent on a change of heart, but rather was what caused it.

Praise in the Storm - Literally

Just wanted to say, "Thank you, Jesus" for saving my extended family from harm yesterday in the M'boro tornado. They pretty much lost everything, but my niece, nephew and his girlfriend were not harmed when it hit the house.

BzzAgent Report - Chili's Guiltless Grill Entrees

My friend got me interested in this great word-of-mouth marketing program called BzzAgent. I get to try out great new products and then tell my friends about it. I'm pretty quick to give my opinion on things, so this was the thing for me!

As a BzzAgent, I was given the opportunity to try out Chili's new Guiltless Grill entrees. These are Chili's 6 new menu items that have less than 750 calories, 25 grams of fat and 8 grams of saturated fat.

Our family went out for a multi-birthday celebration and I used my free entree coupon to get the Guiltless Cedar Plank Tilapia. It was a perfect portion size of fish and came with a side of broccoli seasoned with carrot curls and parmesan cheese. Unfortunately, my fish was cold, but I think this was a restaurant-specific problem rather than a problem with the entree itself. The fish came garnished with pico de gallo which added some great flavor. The broccoli was steamed just right and retained some good crunchiness.

Overall, it was a great entree for those wishing to watch what they eat. It was a healthy meal, but not very filling. If it had been all I'd had that meal, I would have been hungry afterwards. The four of us split an order of chips and salsa preceding the meal and ended the meal with a dessert split 3 ways. After all that, I was just barely full (those that know me can attest that I don't typically pack away a bunch of food in a single sitting). I guess the chips and dessert negated the benefit of that "less than 750 calorie and 25g of fat" meal!

Perhaps they could increase the size of the veggie side. Another option would be to add a side salad with a light dressing. This would increase the volume of the meal without adding too many more calories or fat. As far as the price, I would consider it too high for the amount of food I received.

I would give the entree a 9 of 10 for taste (assuming it would be hot the next time), a 7 of 10 for portion size (needs more veggies), and a 6 of 10 for price. I would certainly order off the Guiltless Grill menu again but would opt for a less expensive item.

The Love of Jesus and Football

I heard this story read in its entirety on the radio this morning and I just had to share it with as many people as I could. Tears flowed as I listened to this tale of how some high school kids and their coaches and parents lavishly showed the love of Jesus to a group of kids most would have shunned.

My desperate prayer is that God would help me love people just a fraction of how He does. My nose is in my navel far too often and I fail to see the people around me. If I do see them, I tend to see them through the lens of what they can do for me or why they're in my way. Brandon Heath's song, Give Me Your Eyes, fleshes out my heart's prayer. The chorus says, "Give me Your eyes for just one second, Give me your eyes so I can see, Everything that I've been missing, Give me your love for humanity."

I went to a Beth Moore conference several years ago and one thing has stayed with me ever since. She spoke of when Jesus healed the blind man in Mark 8:22. When Jesus touched the man's eyes the first time, He asked him what he saw and the man replied, "I see men like trees walking around." Jesus touched his eyes a second time and then the man saw everything clearly. His healing was not complete until he saw people clearly. If I just see people as "trees walking" and not as individuals, I'm not completely free of my blindness. Having my eyes completely opened means seeing people through the lens of Jesus' love.

The kids, parents and coaches in that story didn't see the other team as just a bunch of thugs they had to play one night. They saw them as hurting souls in need of the love of Jesus. They then put their faith into action in a simple, practical but powerful way. It was so easy to do, yet so incredibly "forever."

I want to be able to do that. My prayer, then, is the cry of blind Bartimaeus who said, "I want to regain my sight!" I don't want to see people as trees, objects, obstacles. I want to quit being blinded by my self and see people like Jesus does.

Snow Day!

Snow fell unexpectedly last night after a day of cold rain. I actually remembered about the possibility of making snow cream, so I put out a pan gathered up enough snow to give it a try. Not sure it was the breakfast of champions, but it was fun! We learned to not add as much sugar and vanilla as the recipe called for, but it was good for the first few bites anyways. (Mom, we did eat a 'real' breakfast right after!)

After sufficiently chilling our insides with a snowy breakfast, it was time to go outside! Snow angels, snowball fights and a mini-snowman were all the order of business while I tried to shovel off the sidewalk and driveway that never get the sunshine. Shoveling takes on a whole new dimension when you have to dodge snowballs at the same time!

As the sun came out, the ice and snow began to melt and fall off the trees and houses. The neighbor boy came over and he and J had fun throwing snowballs at each other, but mostly at me! We've not had this much snow in a long time and J's finally at the age to actually enjoy it for a decent amount of time.

Frosty's got nothing on our little snowy mini-man.

With the little bit of thawing that occured, we were finally able to create a "real" snowman...something we've never really had much luck doing. Gravity took over unfortunately and he fell over, but after a torso-ectomy, he gained new life, though at the price of a shorter stature. Here are the before and after pix. Knowing that this is the south and snow never lasts more than 24 hours around here, these guys will be best remembered in pictures and we'll try again next time!

Give Thanks In All Things

My buddy Jennifer challenged her FB friends to post 10 non-cliche items for which we're thankful. Here's my list:

1. A husband who loves God first
2. A daughter who is truly a blessing
3. Not always getting what I pray for
4. Forever forgiveness I didn't (and still don't) deserve
5. Starbucks coffee with vanilla chai creamer
6. A car with relatively few problems and a functional heater
7. Fantastic in-law's
8. Blue Bell Ultimate Neapolitan ice cream
9. Fabulous friends...seriously, you're great
10. Not having to have it all figured out (He knows the plans He has for me)
11. Parents who are still together after almost 40 yrs of marriage
12. A brother like no other - he makes me laugh, loves me, and brought an awesome new sister into our family
13. Modern appliances
14. Two children I'll get to see in heaven
15. Living on a street where the neighbors watch out for each other

Obviously that's not ten. I'm indecisive and at times unable to follow directions, so you get 15. They're also not in order of importance, so please don't read anything into how they're presented. There are so many other things I could mention, but I think this is a good start.

I challenge you to make your own list. I really helps you feel more content by moving the focus from what you don't have to all the blessings you do possess.

I Thess 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I THOUGHT It Was Dark Outside

I don't have a battery in my watch so I never really know what time it is. My body is pretty good at waking itself up at the same time each day and I have neighborhood cues to let me know morning is here. Well, yesterday I woke up and thought "I'd better hurry and get a shower before hubby needs it." I thought I'd heard the neighbor leave for work, so it should be getting up time anyways. It had rained all night so the darkness wasn't surprising. I got showered, dressed (make up and all) and went to let the dogs out. As I passed the microwave, the glaring LED showed "4:25". Crap. I could've slept for 2 more hours! I'd never done that before and honestly hope to never do it again! I chalked it up to God getting me up. I was able to complete my week-long BSF lesson that I'd been remiss in completing and was able to have a nice little quiet time before going to wake up kiddo. I actually had a pretty good day after that and was thankful for the time God and I got to spend together. I'm feeling the sleepy aftermath today, but this should serve as a good reminder to me what a positive difference a morning quiet time can make.

Voices in My Head

I'm guilty of carrying on conversations with others in my head. Let me just say upfront that this is a BAD idea. No, I'm not schizo (I'm pretty sure). Here's what happens - I think of what I would say to them, what I imagine they would say back, my reply to that, and on and on. This can take place over the course of days and even weeks. All the while, I'm experiencing the emotions that would go along with the conversation were it truly happening. Come on now, I know some of you know what I'm talking about! Usually, the unfortunate soul with whom I've been carrying on this imaginary conversation is completely clueless that anything is wrong until BLAM! I actually say something aloud.

I did it again last week and snapped at someone after a seemingly minor comment was made about a situation I'd been stewing about for a couple of months. So when they said something that to them was relatively harmless, I let them have it. Oops. I had to apologize and we did get to discuss the root core of my anger a bit. It would have been so much better to have addressed the issue early on and talked about it calmly.

I hate confrontation so much that I usually choose not to address issues with people early on thinking that things will just magically get better. The problem is that this almost never happens! I hope one day soon I learn to speak up early and honor Christ in my relationships by exhibiting love and respect for people by being honest with them.

Authority Issues

I really hate being told what to do. In fact, I tend to hate any hint of being told what to do. I know this will come as a real shock to my parents. Even as the thought "How dare you tell me what to do!" crosses the synapses of my brain, I'm quite shocked at my own arrogance in thinking I know everything and that my way is the right way. I really do know that's false and the older I get, I realize just how much I don't know. Unfortunately, this kind of attitude makes work, marriage, friendships all the more difficult.

If you've run out of ways to pray for me (goodness knows I can usually provide a long list), a teachable and gentle spirit would be great! While you're at it, can you ask for some of that to develop in Kiddo, too? I see the "don't boss me around" in her sometimes, and her life (and mine!) will be much more pleasant if we can just nip that in the bud. She often says she wants to hurry and grow up and when asked why, she'll tell you because grown-ups get to tell other people what to do. Uh-oh.

To Be Content In Any Situation

Paul says in Phil 4:12, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." I realized this morning that this is what I want. I'm really tired of allowing my happiness to be dependent on my circumstances. Did I get what I want today? I'm happy. Did everything just fall apart and Murphy's Law reigned? Life sucks. What a herky-jerky, tiresome way to live. I had to ask God's forgiveness for allowing my hope to depend on anything other than Him. My prayer for today (and the next and the next) is that Phil 4:12 will become as real to me as He made Phil 4:6-9 last year. Perhaps I should just camp out on Phillipians 4 for a couple of months!

And the Gold Medal in Hopscotch Goes To...

I was sitting in the living room when hubs yells out from upstairs, "You've GOT to be kidding me!" Curious, I went up there to see what he was talking about and he was watching the Olympics on the Oxygen channel (as if they're a hub for athletic events...whatever!). They were showing what we later learned was Individual Dressage. Pronounced 'druh-SAHZ,' it is defined as "the art or method of training a horse in obedience and in precision of movement." Looked like horse dancing to us. I swear they even used the word, "pirouette" in the commentating.

We sputtered a bit about how we couldn't believe this was an Olympic sport (I have a hard time defining as a sport anything where the bulk of the work is done by an animal or machine, but I digress...). We began naming off other "sports" that have found their place into the Olympic line-up - trampoline, synchronized diving, rhythmic gymnastics. Please, why not give us marathon hula hooping or shuffleboard? I did read a simple, informative article that did explain some of the how's and why's of event selection, but it does make me wonder who gets to make the final decision about what we get to see every 4 years. Where do we get to vote? Come on, give us some roller derby.

Salutations to the Musician

My friend, The Musician, lamented the dearth of new posts by her blogger buddies, so this one is for her. I wish I could offer some deep, thought-provoking prose or some funny anecdotes, but I'm just too tired! I truly hope you're not reading this in the wee hours of the morning. Just know that you, the Geek and the wee one are prayed for!

Beginnings and Endings

Update: We went, we cried, I cried some more, we survived day 1. Only hundreds more to go.

I fight tears today. They come each time I realize that today is the last day my daughter will be my "baby." She starts kindergarten tomorrow and our lives will never quite be the same. Starting tomorrow, other adults will have significant influence on her life and choices and I'll have to share her with new friends and commitments. I know to some this may not seem like such a big deal, but it's very scary to me. Granted, it sounds like I'm jettisoning her through time and sending her off to college, but sending her off to kindergarten is just a taste of what's to come.

Have I squandered my time with her the past 5 years? Have I taught her about Jesus to the best of my ability? While I know I will still have plenty of opportunities to spend time with her and teach her, it just seems like this golden time is now over and I don't know if I've done a good enough job. I love her so much and I don't want to have screwed up.

Noah and the Dinosaurs

So, we're "vacationing" with some old friends at their home in Harrison, OH and it's just minutes away from the Creation Museum. We spent several hours there and it is really a neat place. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was beautifully landscaped and the exhibits and presentations were very professionally done. I left there with a fresh, lingering awe of God and what He's done and some new questions to ponder in light of Scripture. For example:

• Were there dinosaurs on Noah's ark?


• Did fossilization occur as a result of the Flood?

It reminded me of pictures I saw on Dan Kimball's blog of Jesus riding a dinosaur and another of Him holding one like a lamb. How startling at first, but possible?

Anyways, hubs and his pastor friend had a great discussion in the van and at dinner over what we'd seen and heard. Very thought-provoking stuff, to say the least. It wasn't kooky or ultra-religious in the sense that it rejected science in lieu of some mystic, supernatural stuff. It allowed science and faith to work together to tell the story of the redemption of humanity and creation through Christ. I loved how the gospel was interwoven into the science of it all. I think that's exactly how it's supposed to be - using science to learn more about God and appreciate His power, love and creativity, and not to disprove His existence.

Is There A Movie Adapted From That?

The story is that apparently the National Endowment for the Arts estimates that the average adult has only read six of these books. Here are the markup guidelines:

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.

2) Italicize those you intend to read.

3) Mark in red the books you LOVE.

4) Reprint this list in your blog



1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkein

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 The complete works of Shakespeare (I've read a LOT, but not all!)

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding - I HATED this book

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

So, that looks like 30 read out of 100. Not too bad, I guess. I do like to read and I've read some really great books not listed here. Like The Musician, I was fortunate to have had a spectacular education at a public school and had the chance to take AP English classes that required me to read many of these works. Some I liked, many I did not.

If I were allowed to count those books which have been made into movies or plays, I could add 11 more!

Simon Actually Smiled

Got this fun one from my dad. Thanks, Dad!

Politics Are Oh So Serious

OK, so I swiped this bit of hilarity from Nashbabe, but it made me laugh out loud so I just had to share it.

Busy Being Boring and Other Random Thoughts

• If boring and busy can be juxtaposed, then that's where we're at. Seems like the next thing is upon us before we finish the last, but what is there to show for it? Just life, I guess. Not exactly the type of rest Jesus promises (come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest) - must be my clue to go to Him and not to my calendar as much.

• I just can't believe the summer is almost over and my baby will be going to kindergarten. Tears well up in me just thinking about it. I think it will bother me more than it will her.

• I went to another church this am because Kiddo was part of a VBS there this past week and the kids were the service today. It's really strange to be somewhere other than our own church. It was more "churchy" than what I'm used to, and I was reminded what it feels like to be a visitor. I hope it makes me more willing to interact with those who come to visit Hope.

• I'm fighting a sinus infection or something as equally annoying right now and I'd forgotten how miserable it feels to be sick. I thank God that I don't feel this way more often. If I avoid you for the next couple of days, it's for your own protection!

• We had the privilege of going to Chuck E Cheese's two consecutive nights this week. Yippee. I learned to premedicate. Hooray for ibuprofen.

• I joined a gym this week, too. I'd been to the Dr and she said the words I knew to be true but hadn't had a third party say to me out loud - I was overweight. Sigh. Hopefully this will be the motivation I've lacked for so long to get serious and be consistent. Only time will tell I guess. Feel free to ask me if I've gone, though please wait a day or two for the copious amounts of mucus in my head to go away.

• I love my husband.

There. I've blogged and have bought myself another 6 weeks of silence unless something utterly profound overtakes me. Anybody else want to take a turn? I like reading about what my friends are up to, however mundane.

A Friend to Sinners

I've been reading several books lately related to the emerging/emergent church movement. I don't really care about the emerging v. emergent part (I get the impression this is somewhat controversial), but I have been greatly convicted about how outsiders (aka non-Christians) view Christians and the church. I don't know that I can have much impact on a generation's view of the church as a whole, but what kind of Christian are my neighbors, non-Christian friends, the grocery store clerks, etc. seeing me be?

Luke 15:1-3 reads, "By this time a lot of men and women of doubtful reputation were hanging around Jesus, listening intently. The Pharisees and religion scholars were not pleased, not at all pleased. They growled, "He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like old friends."

If Jesus was a friend to sinners, than I can only conclude that he wants me to be one, too. From what I know of Jesus, he never bludgeoned a lost, hurting person with a moral code. He loved them, met their need, and then told them to go and sin no more. Jesus is holy and that is never, ever compromised. He seemed to reserve the harsh criticism and judgment for the religious leaders who were more concerned about being "right" than about caring for people and having a right heart before God.

I know that several of my neighbors aren't Christians, but I find myself pretty much encapsulated in a Christian bubble. We hang out with our Christian friends somewhat exclusively, I work for a Christian organization, and we're sending our daughter to a Christian school. How can I be a friend to sinners if I never enter my personal, local mission field?

Anyways, I certainly don't have all my thoughts on this clear in my head as is evidenced by this rambling. I trust the sources I've been reading, but I also need to go back and study the example Jesus set. I confess that I've been guilty of hiding behind my church doors, figuratively speaking, and not reaching out to establish relationships with people that act, think, and believe differently than I do. How to remedy that is still to be determined.

I'm sure I'll blog about this more as I think it through. If you're interested in the books I've been reading, they are:

• Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
• unChristian by David Kinnaman
• They Like Jesus but Not the Church by Dan Kimball